Poison Ivy Thoughts
It’s not a pretty picture.
The rose-colored blobs that look like a newly-formed country appear all over your skin. A stinging pain as annoying as an Apple News alert with the latest Machine Gun Kelly news (shoot me now), and those unsightly blisters which can test your pain tolerance.
This was my experience the last time I stumbled across poison ivy. Seemingly harmless, this mischievous plant can turn a lovely afternoon hike into your worst weekend mistake.
If you’ve ever found poison ivy, or any ivy, in your property, you probably learned a valuable lesson already: Just cutting some branches and getting rid of the leaves won’t solve the problem. The enemy has clawed through the soil and entrenched itself so firm, you’d think it would be connected to the earth’s core. Removing poison ivy is not a pruning exercise. It’s a landscaping project.
My previous experiences with poison ivy, both suffering and removal came to the forefront recently. Looking back through some of my journal entries over the past year, I kept seeing the same anxieties popping up again. I’d also seen entries where I would try to rationalize the problem away or try to reframe the issue so it wouldn’t show up again. But these thoughts, these nasty leaves, kept showing up on my page.
This is what poison ivy thoughts are: Negative thoughts that we try to ignore or compartmentalize in the hopes that we get rid of them. Yet, not only will they remain, but they will continue growing unless you get to the root of it. Pruning shears won’t do. You’ll need shovels.
What does a poison ivy thought look like? Imagine feeling disappointed about not getting a promotion (many of us won’t have to imagine). You may experience frustration, anger, anxiety. The disappointment lingers like the aftertaste of olives. Typically, we may try to rationalize it (“They had limited promotion slots”), blame others (“My boss doesn’t like me”), or compartmentalize (“I’m just going to focus on what I can control”). But the tension remains. The vines tighten their grip.
Now all of these behaviors are normal. Yet, the way we address this situation prevents us from probing deeper.
In this scenario, the poison ivy thought is how tightly coupled your sense of worth and identity are to your career. Pulling out the roots entails finding alternatives to build your sense of worth (that rely on you, not external factors). This excavation is no easy project. And it will require the fortitude necessary to face some of our inner demons. It requires radical inner work.
Going back to our example. If you only cut the vines, but don’t take out the roots, what do you think will happen the next promotion cycle? Perhaps you’ll get the promotion. Perhaps you won’t. Either way, you’ll still be susceptible to the whims of decisions made by others (no matter how much influence you have over them).
What are some poison ivy thoughts in your life? They are not necessarily easy to identify. But the next time you are feeling anxious or angry about a situation ask yourself “What is this really about?” After you ask yourself that question, ask yourself “Ok, but what is below that?” It may take a few rounds until you see how deep the roots go. The key once you identify it is to not try to tackle it all at once.
If you got deep enough, you will likely be overwhelmed at this point. Trying to do more will tip you over the edge, you’ll end up saying “fuck it, I’m not doing this,” and you’ll let the poison ivy grow and expand. Soon enough your mental garden will look like Jumanji.
Instead, honor the fact that you found the roots, and commit to exploring them while you build the fortitude to address them (don’t be afraid to ask for help).
I’m not a prolific mental gardener. But after you get stung by poison ivy enough times, you realize that the only way to live in greater harmony is to get to the roots and patiently dig them out. The world already has enough challenges. Let’s not leave our mind garden unattended.
