One More Thing…
OK, actually three more of things.
You are reading this because hip-hop-star-turned COVID variant, Omarion (Omicron), decided to wreak havoc on my long-desired trip with my Mom to Paris and Milan. So you are stuck with me this week. Thankfully, I will spare you my frustration of not being in a café in Brera listening to my Mom’s stories or seeing Monet’s Water Lilies again.
But what you get from me is three more end-of-year reflections I wanted to share. Here we go:
Embrace contradictions.
In my 2021 reflection, I mentioned Jerry Colonna’s book Reboot. I don’t recall ever underlining a book so much. Despite my best efforts to only underline the “the good stuff,” I found myself saying “dammit, this is good also.” Not surprisingly, it became the book I gifted the most this holiday season. There are many lessons learned from reading the book (and doing the journaling prompts). I’m sure that many will weave through my writing and view of life for years to come.
The premise of the book is that better humans are better leaders. And you become a better human by practicing radical self-inquiry; knowing that a big part of a purposeful life is to constantly examine our lives and do the internal work, so that we can better serve others.
In the path to radical self-inquiry you will encounter many contradictory feelings and mindsets. The inner critic within me—the one that likes to ensure things are nice and tidy before I do anything—hates dealing with this tension. Yet, a sign of maturity and growth is being able to live with these contradictions.
I found this particular point relevant in today’s world, where holding dualities in our hearts and our minds seem like a challenge to the tribes that pull us to one end or the other in our discourse. The world is full of multiple things that can be true at the same time. It can be full of contradictions. It can be full of pain and joy. Taking a deep breath and telling ourselves “I can accept these contradictions, they are part of the human experience,” is a very liberating thought.
Creativity = Integrity + Awareness.
Another lesson that stuck out to me was a quote Jerry shared in the book from poet John O’Donohue. John states that, “Each of us is an artist of our days. The greater our integrity and awareness, the more original and creative our time will become.”
I love the frame of being artists of our days. For what is life if not creative expression through our deeds and words? The best artists know what they stand for and do their best to not drift away from their standards. And yes, they know that they may carry ambivalent ideas—it’s part of their power. They also know that being present and observing the world around you (awareness) is foundational to any creative process.
There are few abstractions I’ve come across as elegant as this one. Creativity = Integrity + Awareness. Simple to say. Hard to live by. Worth the endeavor.
New Year Systems…not resolutions.
I’ve finally picked up James Clear’s Atomic Habits. This is perhaps the most recommended book I’ve seen in the last couple of years (along with Victor Frankl’s Man Search for Meaning, which I also recommend). One of the core ideas that stands out from the book is the idea of building systems instead of focusing on goals. Staking our progress on willpower will only get you so far. Building a system means rearranging our environment, understanding our triggers, and programming rewards for doing the things we say we should be doing.
If you are one of those people that sets New Year’s resolutions, try shifting your thinking this year to creating systems instead. Want to lose X pounds? Cool. What does it look like when you tell yourself you want to work out, but end up not doing it? What do you do instead? Do you know what type of movement brings you joy (e.g. Dancing instead of a Barre class)? How do you reward yourself? What will you tell yourself on the days you don’t make it? These are all the questions that must be sorted out to increase the likelihood of developing a sustainable habit.
Another pitfall to avoid is what is known as Goodhart’s Law which, paraphrased, states that “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.” In the context of our example, a resolution of trying to lose X pounds, can easily lead to unintended behaviors that may do more harm than good. Say, you miss a workout, and in your pursuit to “stay the course,” you miss a meal on purpose. Done often enough, you start developing an unhealthy relationship with food. Or you get discouraged that you are not losing weight fast enough, without acknowledging your gains in strength, and that you’ve likely gained muscle mass.
This is why it’s better to think of New Year Systems instead of New Year’s resolutions. They promote a process-driven versus outcome-driven approach, they invite a more thorough exploration of how to develop a sustainable habit, and they prevent falling prey to Goodhart’s Law.
I certainly encourage you to pick up copies of James Clear’s Atomic Habits and Jerry Colonna’s Reboot. If you are still not sure/pressed for time, you can watch this fantastic summary of Atomic Habits and listen to Jerry’s episodes on the Tim Ferris show (Episode 373, Episode 554).
Lastly, if you are reading this. Thank you! May you have a 2022 filled with joy, health, and love. Most importantly, may you learn about yourself, improve how you relate to others, and find acceptance of your flaws.
Camilo
ps. Is it weird to sign your own blog posts?
